Poetry Life and Mind-ful Things

Who Noticed?

I can’t believe I have gone five months to the day since my last post. No, I didn’t plan a comeback on the exact date for this post to happen. I was curious to see when my last post was published so I stopped for a second to find out. But….who noticed? I’m sure I lost a few followers during this time span, but I also gained some. I wondered who would follow me even after they saw the date of my last post…or did they? It could have been a link that brought them here and that was enough for them to see what I may have to offer.

Did you notice that I had “disappeared” from the face of blogging for (in the blogging realm) an eternity? Did you wonder why my presence was nonexistent? So many times I sat, wanting to peck away at these keys to tell my story. Did I not have anything to say? Nothing to report? I’m not sure if I have the answer to those questions. One thing I do know I had….time.

Since the death of my 43 year old nephew from a heart attack last year in July, and losing my 2 oldest brothers to prostate cancer, my oldest one year and my second oldest the following year, it was time to take stock in myself to see where I was physically. Yes I know many people are able to continue writing and keep up with their social networks no matter what the circumstance, but I didn’t. I’m not going to try to explain away the why’s or why not’s pertaining to my absence, but I will give some insight.

For some time, I had been working part time and I was able to get more done with the extra time I had. When the opportunity presented itself for a full time position, I couldn’t pass that up. I had no idea at the time it would be as demanding of my time as it has come to be. I’m not complaining about that….just stating the facts. My work days start getting out of bed at 5:30 in the morning and not getting home at times before 6:30 or 7 in the evening. Although my job status has changed from the warehouse to the office, I’m still mobile to a great degree which requires me to make several trips out to the warehouse for different reasons. My steps add up to 2 to 5 miles a day…at work alone…not counting any other steps that add to my day. I’m ordering parts, searching for parts, pulling parts, receiving parts, shipping parts to other parts of the country to our other warehouses. It can be exhausting, but also rewarding. I really like my job, but it does wear me down at times.

Even though my mind feels young and I still act like I’m a twenty year old, my body reminds me of the aging process. I have to remind myself that this body is not as vibrant as it used to be…I need to slow it down. The cause of my brother’s deaths was alarming for me. Saying that, it still took awhile for me to get myself checked. The cause of my nephew’s death was equally alarming. A few days before he died, we were all at a family reunion in Cleveland, Oh and he looked good…no indications of ill health from what I could see. I met his children for the first time and we were having memorable moments…pictures being taken. stories being told and buckets being filled with laughter. I was at work when my mom called to give me the news a few days after arriving home from the reunion. Devastating. My boss wouldn’t let me drive home so he and my former boss were kind enough to get me there, one driving my car and the other followed in another. I appreciated that.

It was time. Time for me to do what I had put off for far too long. It had been years since I was seen by a doctor on regular visits. My blood pressure was high but not off the charts, but high enough to cause concern…160’s over lower to mid 90’s. Of course he asked the usual family history questions and I told him about my brothers and my nephew…and my father who also died from prostate cancer. Well that was enough for him to hear. I’m now on BP meds and my blood pressure is down to a manageable level, but still not where I would like for it to be. I’ve done self checks for reading of 140’s over lower 90’s and the doctor says that that is ok because there are some things I can do to help bring it down even more like eliminating some things that I eat and doing some exercise.

Now, my PSA levels were on the high end (0-4 is normal) concerning my prostate (mine was 9.6) so he sent me to a Urologist to get checked out. He (urologist) recommended a biopsy. That was done this past December and the results came back in my favor….no signs of any cancer. He said the elevated PSA levels were likely due to the enlargement of my prostate, which is normal for men as we age. So I’m taking medication to shrink the prostate which in turn will help my urine flow. Oh…did I not mention the fact that I was beginning to have trouble with that? Guys, if you’re not aware, when the prostate becomes enlarged it chokes the urethra which cuts the flow of the extraction of urine….not good! Get yourself checked!!

So this is where I am right now. I want to get back to blogging and also writing, designing and whatever else lands on my plate. I’m not gonna say I’m coming back like gang busters, but I am coming back.

Did you miss me?

One more thing…..#whatruworkinon

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