I hadn’t taken my morning walk in a few days and had a lot on my mind. One of them, what to do next for art. I wanted something quick and simple.
I have smoke stamps software and use them for many things other than just smoke. I see many different shapes in the stamps and this is what I came up with today.
Do you see what I see?
Plumes of smoke doth not fill the air
They lay, foretelling the vision
Of the mind’s eye
The subject and the artist
Subject and Artist
I have been wanting to post for a few days now and I have talked myself out of it several times. No, this won’t be a boo hoo, sad sob post, but an acknowledgement. One that I have known for as long as I can remember. It’s in the title of the post.
As an example.
On some of my morning walks, I walk past a construction site. Right around Thanksgiving, I’m walking and look up and noticed pumpkins on top of a hill. The type of hill that is formed at a lot of sites as they move soil in preparation for the work, or soil that is hauled in.
Now, for one of the things I’m really bad at, not capturing the moment, I smiled and kept walking and for several days since. But as December rolled in, something must have dropped on my head because I took a couple photos.
It seems different now than when I first spotted them up there and could be why I’ve talked myself out of writing the post. But what I find more intriguing is the fact that either these construction workers put them up there or someone else did and they are still there.
In the end, it’s really nothing but pumpkins on a hill at a construction site. But at the same time, it really is…something.
My first week back to work was more than I thought it would be in areas I hadn’t anticipated beginning with I thought I would get sleepy throughout the day. To my surprise I worked through with no problems pertaining to staying awake. I don’t know if it was the atomsphere of the workplace or just being more active. Whatever the reason….
Ok, so Monday I sit at my desk to clock in and start my day, only to find out I can’t. Apparently I wasn’t put back into the system until Monday which meant I wouldn’t be able work at my station until Tuesday. Fortunately there was a pc that would allow me get work done. I felt out of place without my bookmarks and shortcuts but I managed.
So I get through Monday and Tuesday I’m back at my familiar place. I was feeling more at home and felt as if I was getting things done. The one thing that was cumbersome for me the first few days was dealing with the pain. It was more than I thought it would be but as each day passed, the pain decreased. I believe getting back to work was the best thing that could have happened to me physically speaking. Right now I feel like I could do anything, although I know that’s not the case. Driving more I’m sure has something to do with it as well.
Now getting back to sleep for a moment. For some reason, I’m not sleeping through the night since going back to work. First couple of nights I was up at 3 a.m. to drain the fluid and I could not get back to sleep until it was close to the alarm going off at 5. The past few nights have been different but just as bad. I don’t know what this is about but I’m hoping it doesn’t last.
Overall I’m feeling good and should be riding my bike pretty soon. I’ll be glad when I’m able to start my workouts again, but will settle for riding my bike.
Each new day is a blessing to me and I’m not taking them for granted.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a post op follow up with my Cardiologist yesterday. The good news is he gave me the all clear to go back to work. I knew he would but actually hearing the words and holding that paper in my hands made it so much better.
After I left there, I went to my job to finalize my return to work. I had to call HR and fax the paperwork. Karen needed to know if I had any restrictions pertaining to my duties and I told her I’m not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. So if lifting a pen or moving a mouse on my desk and shuffling paper or tapping keys on a keyboard counts…I’m well within the perameters.
I’ll tell you what may be my biggest challenge…staying awake at certain times during the day. Right now I get sleepy sometimes late morning or mid afternoon. It will probably take some fight within to overcome and I know it will not be easy. I’m already trying to make the adjustment but I’m losing the battle. I have to remember that I am still healing and this need to sleep will be with me for awhile.
So am I going back to work too soon? Not at all, because the longer I stay home the more I fall into this routine that is sleeping whenever. Once I start working more I will become stronger to make the adjustment.
The operation I had is very commonplace these days, but for me this is major. If I didn’t have the surgery, I would have developed health issues in the future that would be difficult to overcome as I grow older. I am truly thankful that God brought me through all of this and allowing me to heal at this rapid pace.
The doctors are telling me I am in good health. My heart is strong, my lungs are clear and my blood pressure is good. Still, I know anything can happen in life, no matter what foods we eat or how much we exercise. I am blessed to have this opportunity for new life and I hope I can live up to the task.
Four weeks ago, I had surgery to repair a leaking Mitral Valve in my heart. The symptoms I was experiencing was shortness of breath and tightness in my head when I would overexert myself….mostly at work.
I went to my PCP who referred me to a Cardiologist. After performing tests and ultra sounds, and a Catheter (I forget the medical term for the procedure) was used to get a closer look at the heart. It was this procedure that confirmed his diagnosis.
From here, I had an appointment with the surgeon who talked to me about the surgery and the two types that can be performed. The first is the conventional where they open the chest and ribs to access the heart. The second is less evasive where an incision is made above the right breast and the heart is accessed that way. It is less painful and recovery time is faster by about two weeks (4 weeks instead of 6-8 weeks).
I also had to decide on the type of valve I wanted if the valve had to be replaced. Once they go in and see that the valve has to be replaced, they need to know ahead of time if it will be mechanical or synthetic. Mechanical would mean blood thinners for the rest of my life and synthetic would mean I would have to do this again in about 10-15 years.
After my appointment with the surgeon that day, I went home and pulled up some video on the procedure and watched about five of them involving both techniques and the different valves used for the replacement and also how the repair is done. I called the surgeons office to inform them of my choice the next day which was the less evasive and also for the mechanical valve if a replacement was required.
So I waited to get on schedule for the procedure I chose…and waited. I would call the office to see if I was on schedule and was told they were waiting for equipment. Last month I decided to ask if I opted for the conventional surgery, when would I be able to get on schedule. They called me back that day and gave me three dates, all in March. I chose the earliest available which was the 18th.
So now it’s 4 weeks since the operation and I’m feeling better with each new day. I was discharged from the hospital a day early because I was doing so well. I had to use this heart for standing and for coughing, holding it tight against my chest.
Hospital staff and some co-workers signed it for me. This pillow was really a life saver early on. I don’t use it now, but while in the hospital and after coming home, it was my companion. My first sneeze happened a few days after I got home and it came out of nowhere. My pillow was within reach but I didn’t have time to grab it…that was an intense moment and yes it hurt. I am practically pain free right now….I can handle a sneeze.
I forgot to mention, after waking in my room the first thing that came out of my mouth “was the valve repaired or replaced?” I was told it was repaired, to my delight.
My discharge papers had instructions and some arm exercises that I needed to do. As far as walking, instead of keeping track of the distance, I was to keep track of the time I walk and increase that each week. I can do a 20 minute brisk walk with no problem.
I see my Cardiologist in a few days and I’m really hoping to get the all clear to return to work. I know I still have a lot of healing to do and I’m conscious of my limitations.
I know it sounds crazy, but I’m bored.
I had purchased music software a couple years ago that I had totally forgotten about. That is because I upgraded from Netbook to Desktop to Laptop, and during the transition some of my software was buried.
Ok, so I come across my forgotten software by the name of MAGIX Music Maker (and no I’m not doing a review for the company, but I do like it) and start to mess around with it. I check out some of the loops and come across one titled Twitter. I play it and let it loop a few times and I begin to put a little something together, but even before it’s finished I need to give this mix a title. I wasn’t sure if I could name it #Twitter and I didn’t want to spend the time researching that idea. So I titled it Yeah, It’s A Bird. It took me a few more days to finish it and a few more days after that to finalize it. To be honest, I may do a bit more tweaking even though I have it uploaded to SoundCloud.
I actually have three more mixes completed now for a total of 4 but they are not uploaded at this time. I do have them on a disc and play them in my car. I will say that the quality of the sound is better on disc than I had expected. The format uploaded is MP3, while I burned the WAV format to disc.
By the way, did mention that there are no lyrics? I don’t sing, but I do plan some experimenting in the future. This mix is 8 minutes and 6 seconds in length. I would love it if you were to hop over and have a listen and by all means, please come back and let me know what you think.
Him n Her
Many people think, at the cusp of a relationship, it will be all hearts and roses.
Sure the beginning for some if not all, is just that.
Hearts aflutter, butterfly stomachs, star gazed eyes, sweaty palms and minty breaths.
Then there are times when you just don’t know which direction
the relationship is going.
You can’t seem to agree on anything, nor can either of you head in the same direction.
Being on the same page is out of the question. Hormones and testosterone bouncing of the walls,
oozing through pores and doing everything but meshing in unity.
And so it goes, except…..
……sometimes things can really get ugly.
Oh, you thought is was bad before? Well just hang on tight because now confusion sets in to a point of
confusion and hands get thrown into the air as if to say…I give up! Not only are you going opposite ways,
but you’re blindly making choices that make no sense other than to get back at the
other or just to be mean….oh yeaaah!!!
It’s just a cluster at this point.
Then something happens that maybe no one expected or hoped it would.
You find yourselves meeting in the middle with compromise.
All is not lost after all.
Love is still in the air…really. What happened after the love at first sight
and after the turmoil is what was always there in the midst of confusion.
The middle, the center, the firm foundation that started it all.
Hearts filled with love.
Relationships are like jobs. You have to work them with every tick of time.
Now…..#whatruworkinon
Decision making can be exhaustively taxing
Draining mindful resources to the brink of disillusion
Not in vain for purposeful want in hopes
Ideas which shine as bright as explosive stars
Creating anew that which is greater than before
The wonders of wandering to distant in mind
Pleasurable visions unseen in hand
Breathtaking and lost to the moment
Culminating to fruition in time
I can’t believe I have gone five months to the day since my last post. No, I didn’t plan a comeback on the exact date for this post to happen. I was curious to see when my last post was published so I stopped for a second to find out. But….who noticed? I’m sure I lost a few followers during this time span, but I also gained some. I wondered who would follow me even after they saw the date of my last post…or did they? It could have been a link that brought them here and that was enough for them to see what I may have to offer.
Did you notice that I had “disappeared” from the face of blogging for (in the blogging realm) an eternity? Did you wonder why my presence was nonexistent? So many times I sat, wanting to peck away at these keys to tell my story. Did I not have anything to say? Nothing to report? I’m not sure if I have the answer to those questions. One thing I do know I had….time.
Since the death of my 43 year old nephew from a heart attack last year in July, and losing my 2 oldest brothers to prostate cancer, my oldest one year and my second oldest the following year, it was time to take stock in myself to see where I was physically. Yes I know many people are able to continue writing and keep up with their social networks no matter what the circumstance, but I didn’t. I’m not going to try to explain away the why’s or why not’s pertaining to my absence, but I will give some insight.
For some time, I had been working part time and I was able to get more done with the extra time I had. When the opportunity presented itself for a full time position, I couldn’t pass that up. I had no idea at the time it would be as demanding of my time as it has come to be. I’m not complaining about that….just stating the facts. My work days start getting out of bed at 5:30 in the morning and not getting home at times before 6:30 or 7 in the evening. Although my job status has changed from the warehouse to the office, I’m still mobile to a great degree which requires me to make several trips out to the warehouse for different reasons. My steps add up to 2 to 5 miles a day…at work alone…not counting any other steps that add to my day. I’m ordering parts, searching for parts, pulling parts, receiving parts, shipping parts to other parts of the country to our other warehouses. It can be exhausting, but also rewarding. I really like my job, but it does wear me down at times.
Even though my mind feels young and I still act like I’m a twenty year old, my body reminds me of the aging process. I have to remind myself that this body is not as vibrant as it used to be…I need to slow it down. The cause of my brother’s deaths was alarming for me. Saying that, it still took awhile for me to get myself checked. The cause of my nephew’s death was equally alarming. A few days before he died, we were all at a family reunion in Cleveland, Oh and he looked good…no indications of ill health from what I could see. I met his children for the first time and we were having memorable moments…pictures being taken. stories being told and buckets being filled with laughter. I was at work when my mom called to give me the news a few days after arriving home from the reunion. Devastating. My boss wouldn’t let me drive home so he and my former boss were kind enough to get me there, one driving my car and the other followed in another. I appreciated that.
It was time. Time for me to do what I had put off for far too long. It had been years since I was seen by a doctor on regular visits. My blood pressure was high but not off the charts, but high enough to cause concern…160’s over lower to mid 90’s. Of course he asked the usual family history questions and I told him about my brothers and my nephew…and my father who also died from prostate cancer. Well that was enough for him to hear. I’m now on BP meds and my blood pressure is down to a manageable level, but still not where I would like for it to be. I’ve done self checks for reading of 140’s over lower 90’s and the doctor says that that is ok because there are some things I can do to help bring it down even more like eliminating some things that I eat and doing some exercise.
Now, my PSA levels were on the high end (0-4 is normal) concerning my prostate (mine was 9.6) so he sent me to a Urologist to get checked out. He (urologist) recommended a biopsy. That was done this past December and the results came back in my favor….no signs of any cancer. He said the elevated PSA levels were likely due to the enlargement of my prostate, which is normal for men as we age. So I’m taking medication to shrink the prostate which in turn will help my urine flow. Oh…did I not mention the fact that I was beginning to have trouble with that? Guys, if you’re not aware, when the prostate becomes enlarged it chokes the urethra which cuts the flow of the extraction of urine….not good! Get yourself checked!!
So this is where I am right now. I want to get back to blogging and also writing, designing and whatever else lands on my plate. I’m not gonna say I’m coming back like gang busters, but I am coming back.
Did you miss me?
One more thing…..#whatruworkinon
Whatr U Workin On 