See Things For What They Can Be

Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

A New Card

I added a new card to my Etsy Shop

This card can be given anytime of the year, but it’s great for Valentines day too!

Well….Whatr U waiting for?



36 Years

36 years ago today TheWife and I were married. If you have been with me for awhile, you know that we were seperated for three years. Now back together for two, I’m mixed on how I feel. Without going into great detail because of the time I have right now, I remembered yesterday, forgot this morning.

No gifts exchanged due to money matters. I’m wondering what I would have done if that wasn’t an issue.

Well, I running out of time…maybe I will finish this later.

Small Update

This was taken not long after my last post. I took more later but they didn’t turn out.
I have more to share…

On Our 34th Wedding Anniversary…

Today is the 34th wedding anniversary for my wife and I. 
There was nothing special. 
She actually forgot…that surprised me.
We are not the same couple that fought the battles of the past. Don’t let the picture indicate fights between us…just the struggles of marriage. 








We seem to have risen above that level of communication.


Of course even before we separated, we didn’t argue much. 


The three years apart doesn’t seem to have any affect on how we live as a family. In fact, things are better than before.


Will there be a rekindling of the hearts?


To be honest?…I have no idea. I’m just taking this one day at a time. We have a lot going on here and there are other things of priority that need to be addressed. 

So on this the 34th anniversary of our wedding, there was no bubbly, no kisses, no hugs. I’m not disappointed though. What I have means the world to me. The grandkids getting to know Mamaw and Uncle R, the feeling of bonding taking place…yes 

 …I’ll take this.

It’s Priceless

I’m not sure where to begin…I’ve started this thing four times already. 


The drive…the friends…the aches and pains…or the need for more sleep.


Well, Reg and I got the majority of the truck loaded Saturday night. There were just the last minute items that seemed to take forever to finish on Sunday.


Sunday morning we all head off to church. New Life Worship Center.  It had been…oh gosh…I believe at least five years since we were all there together.  


It was as if we had never left.


There were some people in the church who knew we were coming that morning and we figured the word had gotten out, but to our surprise, the ones who knew must have kept it to themselves. The look on the faces as we walked in were priceless…really priceless. As we began to find a place to sit, we were greeted with handshakes and hugs. 


As I sat in the pew, listening to the singing, memories began to flood my mind with the moments I had enjoyed when we attended…the worship, the fellowship…that too is priceless.


 It still has that at home feel to it. It was really nice to catch up with what’s going on in the lives of those you haven’t seen in years. They were having their Christmas program and a dinner afterward.


The girls had a ball playing with the other kids. I couldn’t believe how those kids I remember had all grown up. Sure I’ve seen pictures on Facebook, but it’s not the same as up close and personal. Unforgettable moments.

After we had finished saying our goodbyes and all, it was time to head back to the apartment to finish packing the loose ends. Darcel went back out to get her last minute visits in. 

By now, it’s later than we had planned to leave, but we are ready for Clarice and Reg to leave Dayton to begin a new life in Virginia Beach. We made good time while the kids were asleep, but once they began to wake, we lost all of that time. That was to be expected, but still very tiring.

I was supposed to return to work on Tuesday, but due to the later time of arrival, we had to put off unloading the truck until…Tuesday…so I had called off work. I knew I had put my fellow workers in a bind, but I really had no choice because the truck had to be returned on Wednesday. 

Again, it was Reg and I who unloaded the truck. I was beat tired…as was Reg, but we kept on going. While we were unloading the truck, I had stopped to check a load of clothes in the dryer…it’s second time around and the clothes were still damp. I knew something wasn’t right so I had to take the time to see what the problem was. 

The lint trap was clogged beyond the filter. I wanted to take the cover off to remove the excess lint, but it had tamper resistant screws which I had no tool for. So I get a hanger and a flashlight to remove the lint…piece by piece. I wanted to use the vac, but the attachment was too big to fit into the opening. I had some tubing in my room and I cut a section and fit it into the wand attachment and taped it so I could suction what I could. It was a very slow process but it worked…all the while, Reg is still unloading what he can without me. 

I get it to the point where the dryer is working much better, but I know I will need to go deeper into the cleaning process of the vent hose. A project for later.

I honestly don’t know how we managed to stay on our feet through it all. 

The truck was returned late Tuesday night. 

I returned to work on Wednesday dog tired. I was literally exhausted while working but I pushed through. I get home from work and after awhile, I realize I HAVE to lay down. I woke up around 7:30 or so and went back to sleep. I wake again, it’s almost 10:00, so I decide to just go to bed for the night. 

I didn’t start feeling rested until yesterday. 

Now I turn your attention to what it’s like with Clarice and Reg here. Surprisingly, the atmosphere is upbeat.  Again, it’s as if we haven’t skipped a beat. Clarice and Reg are getting to know the kids and vise versa. Clarice is MaMaw to the girls and Reg is uncle R. Samuel while were in Dayton had issues with Clarice at first, but that changed towards the end. Clarice told me that Nakiah said MaMaw was gone for a long time. Nakiah was 3 years old when they last saw each other.

What I like about all of this?…even though Clarice and I are not the couple we once were, we are all still family and this household feels that…again…priceless.

Once Charles and Darcel get their own place, it will be different without the kids. I’m so used to them being here all the time…but they will be near.

Is this just what the doctor ordered? I’m not sure, but I do know… 

Having everyone here is…you guessed it…priceless.    


I Made The Call

So I make the call after my post last night and I do small talk, checking to see if the packing is almost done and getting things finalized.


So now I want to see where she is as far as the two of us goes…I mean we will be in close proximities. I was really surprised by her answer.
She said she wanted to keep things as is. So no getting back together of any kind.   

Courtesy of Photobucket

Our living conditions will be split among us and our lives also. The move basically changes nothing for me as per my status. We will take care of some things we need to do first and then proceed with the divorce.There’s no hurry, I’ll let her settle in with the grandkids and find a job. I’m hoping for some bonding in a different way between the four of us…me, the wife, Darcel and Reg…it’s been awhile. 

So there will be a lot of catching up.

Me?…now I am assured of where I am in my life right now. 

Our grandchildren will see the both of us and we will grow and learn with them. 



It will be nice. 


I bet you can’t wait to see pictures…

You’re Kidding Me, Right?

I know it’s too early, but I’m sitting here about ready to call it a night and you know how they do the weather bytes…well we’ve got snow on the way. A twelve hour trip is turning into an even longer one.


I was hoping that we would at least have a stretch of dry pavement. It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. 


At least I know ahead of time and not going to be blindsided. 


Gotta go now, I have a phone call to make.  

A Peaceful Calm

Courtesy of Photobucket

With the change that is quickly rushing into my life, I find myself at peace, a calm. 


The only thing I’m dreading is the physical part of the move. I’m liking that less these days…must be an age thing.


I have been in touch with the wife and things are heading in this direction as planned. 


I think it is time for me to start a dialog with the wife. I believe it is important that we know what is going on concerning this move, because this is more than just a move; I’m aware of that and that may be why I’m at ease….not really sure.


Thus I deem it necessary to at least bring the subject into the air. We will have time to talk before I get there, and on the ride home. 


I will admit that I have short moments when I feel like this…

WhatrUWorkinOn.com
Copyright 2010

But they pass…that’s just nervousness…and understandably so. We will not have been this close together in almost three years.


I have a lot of emotions and questions coming at me.

WhatrUWorkinOn.com
Copyright 2010

I find my self dropping a lot of scenarios into many of the questions, and coming up with as many answers, if not more.


But still, I feel no pressure. 


We’ll see what happens in the coming days…I’ll keep you posted.    

Stranger Things Have Happened

Courtesy of Photobucket



There’s a move that is about to happen. I knew of this move for some time now. 


The move is happening in less than two weeks. 


I had posted back on the 17th of August about my separation from my wife. 


I knew she wanted to be close to the grandkids and she had made plans to make the move whenever possible. Well, it’s happening in a little over a week. 

Courtesy of
Photobucket

So the wife and my son are moving to Virginia Beach. 


The strange part is that the original plan was for the wife and son to get there own place. Now all of that has changed. Now, Charles and Darcel will be getting there own place and the wife and son will be moving in with me. 


This is where it get’s interesting. Ever since we knew the move was on we had been talking and getting things rolling. But we didn’t know until 2 days ago that they would be moving in with me.


I’m ok with the move, it’s just gonna be kinda weird, neither one of us has brought up reconciliation and this is a three bedroom. I think that was the one thing that was mentioned….by me.

Yes, I am wondering if this is the time for talk. Is it something I can avoid if I so choose. Being in close quarters it’s bound to happen…don’t you think?


Stranger things have happened.


My Heart is telling me this can be fixed.


Do I believe in my own Heart?


Stranger things have happened….

A Break and More of Me

I have decided that I needed a break. I need to stop for a moment and gather my thoughts and give my mind and body time to rest.
I have had a lot going on these past few weeks but I did promise to reveal some things about me. So here we go.



I am currently separated from a marriage of 31 years; now into our second year of separation. Without first consulting her on mentioning her name, for now she will be my estranged wife. We are still under good terms, which makes things easier. I will say that she is currently living with our son, Reg. I wish I had pictures of him. 

I am working a job that I have done for about 35 years now. I’ve been with this company for 4 years. I don’t like to talk about my job. I like what I do. I get to meet people and see areas that are new to me. 

I think I’m still making the adjustment to the Virginia Beach area….I guess what I mean is this part of the country. It’s not a bad experience by any means. I’ve always lived farther north. I love not having to deal with the very harsh winters anymore. 

In 1972 I graduated from John Adams High School in Cleveland, OH. I ran track during my freshman year, but that class was too fast for me. I did that because I ran track in Junior High and thought I would continue into High School. 

I had no desire for college and that is because I like learning, but I feel confined when I have to deal with text books. That’s why I liked Printing, Woodwork, Photography, and I also took Architectural Drafting during Jr and High School.

I’ve always liked interactive types of things, whether it’s just throwing something together or taking time on a project. I wish I could show you some of the things I made when I was a kid. My gosh….looking back on that, those were some rough looking cars, and jewelry boxes with drawers, you name it I just knew I could put it together. 

I’m no decorator by any means, but I’d like to show you something I put together.

The next 2 photos are the same, just different lighting. It is a small fruit crate that my wife got from her job. She would bring home a couple on occasion. I knew I would find uses for them. The net on the front I had purchased in a package along with some shells. The lighthouses in the background is leftover wall paper crown I had in my home office in Dayton, OH., the ship in the bottle and the lighthouse I purchased from a Walmart in Dayton, OH years ago. This is hanging on the wall in my room.

 



This one is a bonus I was just about to close and post when I thought to lift the net. I like it.  



I guess that’ll do for now. I have to same some for later.

  









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