Not sure where to start after about a month and a half of silence. I won’t deny that I have been out of the loop in many ways for various reasons. While I’m driving during the day, so much is on my mind and some of it takes me on a journey of wonderment.
I look at the positives that are in my life but the things that go wrong, often overshadow any good that surfaces. I won’t crawl into a shell and become nonexistent or downtrodden, but I do have a tendency to get quiet.
Many of you know that I lost my oldest brother to prostate cancer a couple of years ago. My second oldest brother lost his battle in the same way this past February. I think about my mom and how hard this must be for her losing her two oldest in this way. I have been remembering things my brother Ray (recently past) had talked to me about over the years. One thing comes to mind that we both wished we could have done, but the funds just wasn’t there. I think I was about 17 maybe 18 years old and he said that the price of gasoline was going to rise drastically in the future. At that time, it was unheard of. We were enjoying gas prices well under a dollar per gallon, cigarettes were also less that a dollar a pack. He said that if I could, to put money into oil stock…that was good advice I didn’t or couldn’t follow up on.
Even though I didn’t talk to my brothers on a regular basis while they were here, I do miss them.
There have been other issues that have taken their toll on my mind and I do feel drained emotionally.
Attempts at getting back to a regular routine has proven to be difficult for me, but it will happen. I look to God for strength and endurance….I can’t do it without Him.
Here’s to moving on and hanging tough.
I’ve noticed that some of my old post have been read lately and that has given me a curious look myself. I’ve opened a couple of them to see what I’ve written and noticed that I’ve done some experimenting along the way since I started this blog.
I recently deleted my second most read post because I wasn’t really thinking when I wrote it and I thought it may have been offensive to women. Thinking back, I was angry not at women, but with TheWife and just happen to blurt out loud my frustration and the post really had nothing to do with why I was upset with her.
In general I am happy to say that my blog hasn’t really changed although I have done some experimenting.
This post…World Class gets a lot of reads and reflects the core of my blog. I believe that life in general is our place of learning. Not taking away from text books, but they can’t give what life itself does. If we can’t learn from life, all the books in the world are useless….that’s just me.
Life Has…is another post that has been read most recently by a few people. After reading this again brought to mind a post I had written about Steps.
Reading these reminded me of the style of poetry I like to write most although I have written a little on the dark side.
A stroll down memory lane has brought back the experiences I have in writing this blog and what I’ve learned along the way. It’s not a very popular blog but I do appreciate my followers and those who happen to drop in unexpected. I keep moving along and I’ll see what this journey has in store.
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I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about many different things. Some of it making me very angry, some making me think even more, some giving me feelings of despair, and some giving me answers.
Early in my life, I had been taught to take responsibility for what I do and I have done that for the most part. I am far from being anywhere near perfect and I acknowledge that. I have made many mistakes that I take the blame for. I hurt when I hurt others.
When others make mistakes that affect me, I try to remember that they too are human and mistakes happen. But when the same types of mistakes happen on a consistent basis I have a problem with that. I know we are suppose to forgive, but the Lord knows I have trouble with consistent mistakes. When and where is the line drawn? I know too we are to forgive at all times.
In this skin that is humanity, it is very difficult…all too easy to hate those that do these things to us. But in the end, it is I who will suffer because of not forgiving. I will be the one whose bones will ache and drawn into a state of depression and despair. It is my mind that will be filled with bitterness that is best used for the betterment of my life and for those around me while they that choose to live a life of doing what they do continue to do what they do, whether knowingly or not.
The importance of forgiving is just that…very important. The effects of harboring unforgiving thoughts is far more damaging than one can imagine. It has no benefits that will be good for me.
I am really struggling at the moment and I know I need to turn this around. I need to stop looking at what has happened over the past few years and move on. I have a lot of positive things going on and I am thankful for that.
Humility is hard to swallow. Perfection was given only to the one true God and He said that we are to forgive because He knows that if we don’t…it is we who will suffer…and we are to leave the rest to Him.
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Let the talent of the talent shine
Brightly as gifted it was given, absolute
Astounding, the beauty of the gifted talent
How bright the talent?…matters not
Resting it aside for still of time, wasted
For it is not the one to give the talent light
But true to the giving, it is His light shining
Once the talent is motioned thru space of time
Wonder not the beauty to the eye
Savor in His gift, the talent given to shine
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Time’s relevance is irrelevant at times
Other times, so vastly important
Seeking to achieve one’s destiny
Time waits for no man at all times
Man’s purpose, sought by man throughout
In degrees that vary for purpose in life
Some to persevere in want and need
By others in disillusionment and despair
Flashing moments portray accomplishments
Times even to them who feel failure
Remember one and all, remember
Time’s relevance, in the hands of one
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I finally got around to making it comfortable to work outside. The shade and the breeze are soothing. TheWife was off Wednesday and ‘reminded me’ that it would be a good idea to put the umbrella up. We have a dining room table that’s been around since we’ve been married….well after we got our first apartment…..anyway, I digress ; the only thing I had to do was to drill the hole and set the umbrella. We had chairs but the table is the only thing that survived, but these will do for now.
Now I’m outside and I realized my thoughts spanned several years of my life. A couple of days ago I was thinking of “the thought that kept driving me to do better than where I am” at any given moment in my life, that is what I want to do. Strive to do better, even when others see it as just someone else with a dream. The driving force in this particular thought stems from my tenure as an Autoglass Technician. When I first got into installing, it was a new adventure…learning, hands on, making decisions, getting things done under, at times almost impossible circumstances. Sure there were lots of times when a call was necessary but for the most part it was if I was my own company.
So over the years I made manager and this was a whole new ballgame. I felt as if I was fed to the wolves. I was a ‘working manager’ and many aspects of the job were never taught…yeah you know, on the managing end. Of course I was to ‘pick up on this part’ in between installs. It was almost a torturous number of years. So when that didn’t work, I was offered a tech job….that’s pretty much what they all do when you don’t work out as a manager….unless you really screwed up bad.
Besides my drive to want a better life for myself and my family, I scoped the ranks of the technician pool and I didn’t want to be one of those who has toiled and labored for years on end and then retire as a tech. I saw the battered bodies and frustrated minds….but I kept listening to the promise of opportunity…even with another company….and there too, the years of labor taking its toll on the seniors of the tech pool….realizing, if I stayed the course, I would be one of them.
I’m no better than any of them, but I finally chose to pull myself away from that table, and let the plate fall to its breaking….while I still have the drive and desire to fulfill accomplishments.
Now I turn my attention to other tables to see what feasts or spoils await.
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I almost decided not to do this post but changed my mind again. I am reminded by events that brings perspective to what I’m doing with my life right now. The death of my brother sucked the air right out of me and it took awhile the start breathing again.
My nephew, my only sister’s oldest son had a stroke last year. He was fortunate to have someone with him at the time. His stroke was bad, but he is currently recovering. He is walking on his own and takes morning walks by himself. He stutters when he speaks and keeps apologizing whenever we talk…I keep telling him that he doesn’t have to do that. I really find joy when we do talk because he continues to make progress.
I talked to my sister today and find out that he has an aneurysm and will be having surgery.
For whatever reason I didn’t find out until three days after the fact, that my third oldest brother suffered a stroke this past Wednesday and he too happened to not be alone. Although his was not as severe as our nephew’s, it is a stroke nonetheless. He was at home yesterday but will be off of work for at least 4 weeks.
I can’t help but to think about myself and my family….what can I do for them. What can I do now that will be of benefit to them in the future. Life insurance?…sure. What more can I do? Some may say that insurance is enough. Not me.
These aforementioned events have touched that nerve…you know the one. That is why what I do is so important for me. I value my life and all that God has given me. My abilities, my desires, my love for those that have come into this life behind me. For me, it’s not just a matter of raising your children, but helping them to reach and to achieve, to realize they too have goals that can be reached.
So I continue to show my love by doing what I do in hopes that will be of substance to them in their future. Utilizing my time to build on the foundation that was started in my mind, many years ago…never giving up on that dream.
With that, I’d like to say that my second clock sold this past Friday. Some of you may have seen the prototype.
Here is the final design of the 8 x 8 clock…Rise Above…
|MyQuesMark Rise Above Clock Design
|Here it is in the shadow box I made for either wall mount or desktop
complete with painted frame
|Here is Darcy holding his brand new clock…I wonder if he realizes he’s holding the only clock of its kind (as per design)
I would venture to say in all the world.
If it all stops here and now, in my heart I have succeeded….I don’t know how much time I have left and if I ask God, he wouldn’t tell….besides, I don’t want to know. I want to continue to work this time that I have because things are put into perspective,
On This Father’s Day
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Today is not as busy as it was yesterday. I was able to get some things done online that I had on the table. I have been in my ‘design studio’ making some changes. I think I’m going to make a broad change on some designs and take some off the board altogether….although TheQuesMark will still remain the focal point.
I’m #workinon something that may be of interest to some.
June is my date to bring everything into the public eye. I hope to have some fun with the ‘thing’ of interest. Getting to where I know I need to be on June 1st will take a lot of work.
It was really wet here today.
So what is now done on the van, is good it was done yesterday.
Reg brought half of a chicken home from work today at The Cheesecake Factory. The Rice a Roni was already here so I was in the kitchen about to get dinner on the table.
About a half an hour or so and we were eating….no veggies….bummer.
I think I may stay up late tonight and get into my ‘design studio’. I’m feelin’ it tonight.
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I have made note of how I was coming along on my social networks but failed to come back here…so sorry.
Well if you got a chance to watch my first promo video before I snatched it, I’m sure you can understand why I did so. I’m not sure why the video quality degraded so badly. Software, images, whatever it is I don’t want to spend the time to try and fix it. So instead I have decided to take a whole new approach….in the long run it will be much more beneficial. Again it’s a work in progress and learning comes with it.
The next one won’t be exactly what I want, but better than the first…#workinon the audio right now.
I am purposely holding back on some things I want to do and that is a time and place issue….life is good.
I would like to take this time to give my sincere apologies to those who took the time to read and comment on my poem If Time Did Stop. I had received an email of another comment and when I went to reply, I noticed my previous comments and replies were gone. I went to my dashboard and there were no signs that they were ever there.
I had been using Intensedebate because of the threaded comment and reply format. But after the loss of the comments and replies and since Blogger has implemented their change in the comments I find necessary to make the change.
I’m not bashing Intensedebate because I’m sure there are many satisfied users out there. Like any software, glitches do happen.
Again, my sincere apologies to those who did read and comment.