See Things For What They Can Be

Posts tagged ‘Lessons’

No Agenda, yet

I currently have no idea what these will look like as a finished project. My main goal here is motivation. To get back to this or what other crafts, ideas or writings that will come across my mind. I’m constantly throwing ideas about something around inside my head, but I have a bad habit of mostly not jotting it down or better yet, pulling out my phone and taking notes or photos.

I’m one of those who thinks I won’t forget that idea…how wrong have I been over and over again (stubborn). I’m old school. When I grocery shop, I have a hand written paper list. Now I have upgraded to a list on my phone when I intend to do a larger than 5 item shop. That’s something, right?

Well, I will work on these and as soon as they are finished I will be sure to share.

The World Must Be Flat

OK, so the world must really be flat and I fell over the edge.

It’s been almost 3 years since I’ve written anything here. I’ve been a stranger on most of my social media apps as well. A lot has happened and I was witness to it all but decided not to address any of it in writing because I’ve been in a place…a space. Floating after my free fall from the edge of earth, again because it must be flat…at least it must have been three years ago.

But during this past year, I’ve done a lot of thinking, searching and a lot of nothing as well. I tried keeping busy in some way or another. I added a new platform to my Instagram account to focus on just my artwork and found a community of like minded souls that helped to fuel my ambitious, artistic appetite. They helped me to realize the importance of knowing that art is as different as people.

It is what you make it to be. It gives each of us an opportunity to “See Things For What They Can Be”.

I really want and need to get back to what I love. I know it won’t be easy. I’ll have to push me. Get mad at me. Motivate me.

At this moment, right now, I’m angry with myself and that’s a start.

Now if I can just hang on the edge long enough to muster the strength to throw my leg up, I can get the rest of me back on solid ground.

Good News

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had a post op follow up with my Cardiologist yesterday. The good news is he gave me the all clear to go back to work. I knew he would but actually hearing the words and holding that paper in my hands made it so much better.

After I left there, I went to my job to finalize my return to work. I had to call HR and fax the paperwork. Karen needed to know if I had any restrictions pertaining to my duties and I told her I’m not allowed to lift anything heavier than 10 lbs. So if lifting a pen or moving a mouse on my desk and shuffling paper or tapping keys on a keyboard counts…I’m well within the perameters.

I’ll tell you what may be my biggest challenge…staying awake at certain times during the day. Right now I get sleepy sometimes late morning or mid afternoon. It will probably take some fight within to overcome and I know it will not be easy. I’m already trying to make the adjustment but I’m losing the battle. I have to remember that I am still healing and this need to sleep will be with me for awhile.

So am I going back to work too soon? Not at all, because the longer I stay home the more I fall into this routine that is sleeping whenever. Once I start working more I will become stronger to make the adjustment.

The operation I had is very commonplace these days, but for me this is major. If I didn’t have the surgery, I would have developed health issues in the future that would be difficult to overcome as I grow older. I am truly thankful that God brought me through all of this and allowing me to heal at this rapid pace.

The doctors are telling me I am in good health. My heart is strong, my lungs are clear and my blood pressure is good. Still, I know anything can happen in life, no matter what foods we eat or how much we exercise. I am blessed to have this opportunity for new life and I hope I can live up to the task.

Letting Go

Over the years, I had accumulated a vast array of old mail and personal papers that I had intended to shred with a shredder I purchased many years ago. These papers had grown to several boxes and because I didn’t do what I had bought the shredder for in the first place, found their way into closet space. They had also become a regular part of our moving routine as if they were furniture.

You see, I absolutely refused to just throw these papers into the trash. Addresses, phone numbers, social security numbers, tax returns….I was not going to trust this information was not going to end up in the wrong place….that’s why I bought the shredder, right? Oh, I did use the shredder when I first purchased it, and several times thereafter. But the mass of junk mail and docs and notes, and whatever else with our info on it continued to pile.

Over the past 2 months, I sat myself down in front of the television, making sure their was nothing on that I was really interested in so as not to distract me and piece by piece, junk mail by junk mail, box by box ridding myself of this unwanted pile of old.

There were papers dating back to 1997. Old tax returns, vehicle maintenance, credit card apps, you name it. I even came across an old check what seemed to be worth over $2400 dated 2011. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a real check or there was a catch in order to cash it in the first place, which is why it sat uncashed. But just for giggles, I took it to the bank….it was actually drawn on my present banking institute….to see if it was a valid check. They told me because of the date I would have to take it back to the issuer of the check. I took it back home, go online and the company is still in business. I call and explain that I have a check, not telling them the amount, but I did give the date of said check. I was transferred to someone’s voice mail and I knew then and there all I had was a trophy in my hands. I wasn’t disappointed because I knew I didn’t cash the check for a reason, in the first place.

As I said, over a 2 month period I took all of the old papers to my job and put them into our shredding bin that we are able to use, to finally get rid of a ‘hang nail’ so to speak. It really felt good knowing that was done and now I can use my personal shredder at home to stay on top of unwanted papers.

Sometimes we hold onto old ‘things’ in our everyday living….not paper….that accumulates and hangs around until they become piles of unneeded debris. We can’t or won’t let go. But holding on to those things prevents us from achieving so many new accomplishments that helps us to grow, to become better in life.

It’s just a matter of having a made up mind and taking ‘things’ to the shredder.

All The Same

WE’RE ALL THE SAME

AllTheSame

BUT DIFFERENT

Doors

Open Doors

How Life Is

From time to time, my eyes search the skies

If I bend an ear, I can hear the cries

It is for me to wonder, as I am perplexed

How life is at times, as real as it gets

The violence and anger portrayed day to day

It is for revenge, it is for justice some say

I am truely beholden, this way that I live

It is but one life given, for me to give

Round and round, the cycle of life bestows

Like our earth, round the sun it goes

Event after one, another continues onward

You would think lessons learned, from outside inward

Time goes by round the world as it turns

The violence unending as hearts fire burns

Is it for justice? Is it peace?

I continue to wonder, will it ever, ever cease

Thanks Mom

I called my mom early this morning to wish her a Happy Mother’s Day. She said I was the first to reach her and that it was ok because she had to get up anyway. The times we talk as usual lead to other topics. I’m going to Ohio in July and it will be good to see her.

Like a lot of moms, my mom made sure I knew how to take care of myself, like cooking, cleaning, laundry. Of course as a teenager you’re not into learning those necessities of life. I don’t do too bad these days….thanks to mom.

It is always a treat catching up with my mom. We laugh and talk and she sounds younger than ever. I still get good advice and she is good at listening.

My mom has always been a big part of my life and I will never take that for granted. I often look back on her guidance and know today that raising children is no easy task. Love, gratitude, thankful, appreciation, are just grains of sand in describing how much I appreciate my mom….love you mom!

Bare With Me

Bare with me….I’m not always on top of my game.

image

All I Did Was Love You

There was a time when moments were good

A time I thought I understood

Funny I never heard the words as I look back

I just knew you and I were on track

I don’t know what happened ¬†along the way

Was it something I said that made you stray?

I am disheartened to say the least

How you turned into such a beast

Your bitterness like a knife run through

We were one, but now we are two

The monster deep within you surfaced

The love I once knew was now misplaced

You took my love in more than one piece

As my beating heart did all but cease

You took this man and made it a shell

Empty and void without voice to tell

Of the bitterness bestowed to me

Warranted not from what I see

My love for you was tried and true

Count the ways, All I Did Was Love You

%d bloggers like this: