Poetry Life and Mind-ful Things

Posts tagged ‘WhatrUWorkinOn’

My Day Off

My day off from work this week and unlike so many other days like these, I have chosen to actually follow through physically, what my mind has been wanting me to do. I’m writing. I believe this is the longest spell of silence I’ve had since my blogging experience began. So many times since my last post, I opened my dashboard, looked at the stats and clicked the add a post button. Only to close the page and walk away. I just couldn’t follow through with the swing, or make it across the goal line. I do have things I could have written that might be of interest to you, but right now you may be more interested as to why I have been so silent.

Am I feeling sorry for myself? Just the opposite. I’m really pissed off at myself for allowing this to get to this point. I love writing, whether it’s a quick post, poetry, something about my life or life in general. Posting some of my artwork that I still want to improve on and to promote as my own brand, and of course that can’t happen if I’m sitting on my hands.

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image copyright whatruworkinon.com

See that face in the frame? That is how perplexed I feel as to why this is happening. I do have answers and at the same time, I have no clue. I do know I need to break away from this duldrum (not sure if I’m using the correct word) that has gripped me like Charlie Brown’s dark cloud.

I know exercising and eating healthier can influence how we feel physically and emotionally. Saying that, I haven’t been able to workout like I had been because of a health issue that has come to light. I’m not ready to bring it to the forefront on this blog at the moment. I will say that surgery is planned after the first of the year. If your thinking this is the reason for my silence….it ain’t so because it was during the middle of the silence I became aware of my condition. I do plan to document the before and after, maybe for my own benefit.

So because I haven’t been able to workout, I have gained some extra pounds that I can’t wait to shed. I have indulged in some foods (more like snacking) that I could really do without, but I am getting back on track. My mid-section has taken on the bulge. I want to lose at least 5 pounds before the surgery, a goal I believe is realistic without exercise.

I’ve had some tests done over the past couple of months to determine the extent of my condition and what will be needed to get my health to a healthier state. The doctors tell me I am really in good health aside from the fact I need surgery….that is good news.

We’ve come to our slow period at work which means they are keeping a close eye on the hours. Even with insurance, I’m looking at medical bills already but I’m not letting that get me depressed…down a little but not depressed.

Christmas is right around the corner and as an adult, I know what Christmas is really about. Personally, I could care less if I get a single gift. My gift right now is my daily gift from God with every breath I take. But I do have 3 grandchildren who view this time of year differently and understandably so. We will make sure they have a children’s Christmas.

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#My3Grands (photo courtesy of themahoganyway.com)

They grow so fast. There was a time when I could reach out and touch them and hear their laughter, the questions that only a child can ask with a straight face and the cries of pain or disappointment, but now we are states apart. I won’t lie….at my age, it’s nice to have peace and quiet, but I do miss them.

I don’t know if I answered any of the questions you may have as to why I haven’t been posting. There are some elements in my life I’m not totally happy about. Finances, or the lack thereof can bring anybody down. The world’s events that tops the newscasts on a daily basis….and the list goes on….but, even you know these aren’t the main reasons.

I’m generally upbeat and easy going. Laughing (at myself a lot) and making others around me laugh as well. When I do get down, I don’t stay down for long periods. I don’t know why I have allowed myself to stay away from this spot for so long.

I’m anxious to get back into the mix. I don’t want to be this silent anymore. I hope it lasts, but we all know that it’s up to me.

Eye_Know_Right_a

image copyright whatruworkinon.com

 

All The Same

WE’RE ALL THE SAME

AllTheSame

BUT DIFFERENT

Relationships

Him n Her

Many people think, at the cusp of a relationship, it will be all hearts and roses.

Sure the beginning for some if not all, is just that.

Hearts aflutter, butterfly stomachs, star gazed eyes, sweaty palms and minty breaths.

Then there are times when you just don’t know which direction

the relationship is going.

Swoop Arrows

You can’t seem to agree on anything, nor can either of you head in the same direction.

Being on the same page is out of the question. Hormones and testosterone bouncing of the walls,

oozing through pores and doing everything but meshing in unity.

And so it goes, except…..

……sometimes things can really get ugly.

Confusion

Oh, you thought is was bad before? Well just hang on tight because now confusion sets in to a point of

confusion and hands get thrown into the air as if to say…I give up! Not only are you going opposite ways,

but you’re blindly making choices that make no sense other than to get back at the

other or just to be mean….oh yeaaah!!!

It’s just a cluster at this point.

Then something happens that maybe no one expected or hoped it would.

InTheMiddle

You find yourselves meeting in the middle with compromise.

All is not lost after all.

Love is still in the air…really. What happened after the love at first sight

and after the turmoil is what was always there in the midst of confusion.

The middle, the center, the firm foundation that started it all.

Hearts filled with love.

Him n Her_NoEnd edit

Relationships are like jobs. You have to work them with every tick of time.

Now…..#whatruworkinon

Who Noticed?

I can’t believe I have gone five months to the day since my last post. No, I didn’t plan a comeback on the exact date for this post to happen. I was curious to see when my last post was published so I stopped for a second to find out. But….who noticed? I’m sure I lost a few followers during this time span, but I also gained some. I wondered who would follow me even after they saw the date of my last post…or did they? It could have been a link that brought them here and that was enough for them to see what I may have to offer.

Did you notice that I had “disappeared” from the face of blogging for (in the blogging realm) an eternity? Did you wonder why my presence was nonexistent? So many times I sat, wanting to peck away at these keys to tell my story. Did I not have anything to say? Nothing to report? I’m not sure if I have the answer to those questions. One thing I do know I had….time.

Since the death of my 43 year old nephew from a heart attack last year in July, and losing my 2 oldest brothers to prostate cancer, my oldest one year and my second oldest the following year, it was time to take stock in myself to see where I was physically. Yes I know many people are able to continue writing and keep up with their social networks no matter what the circumstance, but I didn’t. I’m not going to try to explain away the why’s or why not’s pertaining to my absence, but I will give some insight.

For some time, I had been working part time and I was able to get more done with the extra time I had. When the opportunity presented itself for a full time position, I couldn’t pass that up. I had no idea at the time it would be as demanding of my time as it has come to be. I’m not complaining about that….just stating the facts. My work days start getting out of bed at 5:30 in the morning and not getting home at times before 6:30 or 7 in the evening. Although my job status has changed from the warehouse to the office, I’m still mobile to a great degree which requires me to make several trips out to the warehouse for different reasons. My steps add up to 2 to 5 miles a day…at work alone…not counting any other steps that add to my day. I’m ordering parts, searching for parts, pulling parts, receiving parts, shipping parts to other parts of the country to our other warehouses. It can be exhausting, but also rewarding. I really like my job, but it does wear me down at times.

Even though my mind feels young and I still act like I’m a twenty year old, my body reminds me of the aging process. I have to remind myself that this body is not as vibrant as it used to be…I need to slow it down. The cause of my brother’s deaths was alarming for me. Saying that, it still took awhile for me to get myself checked. The cause of my nephew’s death was equally alarming. A few days before he died, we were all at a family reunion in Cleveland, Oh and he looked good…no indications of ill health from what I could see. I met his children for the first time and we were having memorable moments…pictures being taken. stories being told and buckets being filled with laughter. I was at work when my mom called to give me the news a few days after arriving home from the reunion. Devastating. My boss wouldn’t let me drive home so he and my former boss were kind enough to get me there, one driving my car and the other followed in another. I appreciated that.

It was time. Time for me to do what I had put off for far too long. It had been years since I was seen by a doctor on regular visits. My blood pressure was high but not off the charts, but high enough to cause concern…160’s over lower to mid 90’s. Of course he asked the usual family history questions and I told him about my brothers and my nephew…and my father who also died from prostate cancer. Well that was enough for him to hear. I’m now on BP meds and my blood pressure is down to a manageable level, but still not where I would like for it to be. I’ve done self checks for reading of 140’s over lower 90’s and the doctor says that that is ok because there are some things I can do to help bring it down even more like eliminating some things that I eat and doing some exercise.

Now, my PSA levels were on the high end (0-4 is normal) concerning my prostate (mine was 9.6) so he sent me to a Urologist to get checked out. He (urologist) recommended a biopsy. That was done this past December and the results came back in my favor….no signs of any cancer. He said the elevated PSA levels were likely due to the enlargement of my prostate, which is normal for men as we age. So I’m taking medication to shrink the prostate which in turn will help my urine flow. Oh…did I not mention the fact that I was beginning to have trouble with that? Guys, if you’re not aware, when the prostate becomes enlarged it chokes the urethra which cuts the flow of the extraction of urine….not good! Get yourself checked!!

So this is where I am right now. I want to get back to blogging and also writing, designing and whatever else lands on my plate. I’m not gonna say I’m coming back like gang busters, but I am coming back.

Did you miss me?

One more thing…..#whatruworkinon

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Opinions

Opinions

Please Don’t Leave

I had mentioned recently that I am in the process of making changes and moving forward in a direction that I feel will work for me. I find it necessary to limit my blog posts to allow more time for what I need to concentrate on. During this time, I’m asking that you please don’t leave and think that I have abandoned my blog. I do appreciate the likes and comments that shows your interest in what I have to say or design.

The steps ahead will have twists and turns, pulling me here and there.

Steps

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com
2010 – 2013

 

There may be moments when the unknown will strike an element of fear.

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com
2010 – 2013

But it will all lead me to where I would like to be.

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com           2010 -2013

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com
2010 -2013

Then I can breathe a sigh of relief.

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com           2010 -2013

Copyright WhatrUWorkinOn.com
2010 -2013

I’m sure I will have a post here and there and some updates on my progress without giving away too much info. I will also keep an eye on what all of you are up to. With that said…I gotta go…lots of work ahead.

Love y’all

My Signature

Want Of True Love

WantOfTrueLove

 

 

My Signature

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